| Settlement requires compromise. The mediator must have everyone’s trust to facilitate the process of each participant letting go of something they viewed as crucial. Here are three measures to use when choosing your mediator.
Motive
Does the mediator have any motive other than bringing the parties to resolution? Does anything in the way this mediator was nominated suggest the person cannot be impartial?
Traits Needed To Bring The Parties To Resolution
In negotiation, parties make themselves somewhat vulnerable to their mediator. Does the mediator have the kindness, patience, and background to understand the emotional side of the dynamic?
I was once in a mediation where the mediator walked in and immediately announced, “This case has a value of $X.” This kind of arrogance, impatience, and rigidity does not instill trust and is unlikely to bring the parties to resolution.
Understanding
Does the mediator demonstrate an understanding of the parties’ wants and needs? Just saying what you want may not move the negotiation ahead. Sometimes I have to ask, “What do you need?” That can be harder to define—verbally and emotionally.
As a mediator, I am omni-partial; I am on everyone’s side. Working together, we will get to resolution. |
